i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
