That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
