as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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