Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
