I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
