I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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