my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
