Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Randomize
