you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
