I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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