he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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