if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
