I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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