Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
