Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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