In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
