Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
