I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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