What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
