I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
