dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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