you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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