k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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