I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
