I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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