sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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