i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
