We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
try to milk me bitch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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