hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
