Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
