On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
