You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
