Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
