good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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