I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
