walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So squirting runs in the family.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
