So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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