Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
