Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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