susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
