hell yes lets make some ravioli
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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