It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
