Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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