dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just pee around me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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