I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
