This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
