It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
