i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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