she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
