the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
